Two Months Old

It has been almost a week since Tula Belle was 2 months old, so it's really been weighing on me to do an update about what's new with her and all of us. Frankly, it is almost impossible to find the time right now. And when I do have the time to sit and do nothing, at this point the last thing I feel like doing is typing or even thinking about what to type. It is good for me though, to reflect a little and take the time to journal. This blog is the only journal I have and I am learning as every new mother does that the moments just fly by and sometimes the end of the day you can look back and it feels like a blur. There have been days that I feel like I got nothing accomplished, because I spent too much time just staring and cooing at Tula. And then there are days I realize I didn't spend enough quality time with her because I focused too much of my energy on finishing a project or task at hand. Everyday is a new attempt at trying to find the perfect balance.

Our move to AZ has been many great things for John and I but to say it has not been difficult would be a complete lie. Last Monday, when we dropped my Mom and Dad off at the airport was when it really hit us both. Driving away from the airport and realizing that it was just us in Arizona. All by ourselves. Yes, everyone was just a phone call or email away, but they were also miles away and we could really feel it. This was also the first time the two of us had really been alone with Tula and as first time parents this was actually a lot more intimidating than I thought it would be. For me especially, I think. I was always used to having John's mom or my mom there to give me a little break when I needed it, most importantly to spend some time with John. Well now, if I need a break from Tula it is John who relieves me, so our alone time is basically when she allows it. We are learning that everyone's life is easier if we just work around her schedule instead of trying to create one for her. And we are learning that having her happy is the key to our happiness. We are learning to be better parents everyday.

Poor Tula has been so good for us since we have been here. It's been 110 degrees outside and we have had so much running around to do and she has been really patient getting dragged around to all these places. She definitely lets us know when she is too hot or too tired to continue, but for the most part is pretty content just hangin out with us. And I love that this house is becoming home to her. The place she likes to come back to at the end of the day. I feel like she is getting used to things and starting to show us what she likes and doesn't like. Heat, she doesn't like. Air conditioning...she likes! LOL...kidding

The only other really difficult change for me has been having the "job" of the house. I always had a little anxiety about it. I like to keep things clean and it's a lot of space to clean. It hasn't been as much work as I thought it would be, but definitely some time needs to be devoted to the house every day and that takes some getting used to for me. The hardest part is whenever I sit down on the computer or in front of the TV and knowing that there is something else I really should be doing. It's that feeling that takes some getting used to.......bleh.

Now onto the good things about it here. We absolutely love our house, and it becomes more and more a home everyday. Things are really coming together and besides the final decorating details, the main rooms we use are furnished and functioning. We enjoy our privacy and and family time. I love the feeling that the master bathroom is actually my bathroom, that we are the bosses of the house, all that fun stuff that comes with living in your own house for the first time. We still enjoy hanging out and cooking in the kitchen together, when Tula allows. I know John is really itching to get back to work, but I am loving having him home. I know we are so blessed to have been able to take this much time off and I am so grateful, I just wish it could be like this forever though. Knowing it will be years until I get to wake up with John there everyday like this make me dread him going back to work. And he is such a help with Tula, I don't know how I am going to do it without him. Plus, I will have to learn how to operate all her things. Would you believe just today John finally taught me how to open and close her stroller? I figured that skill would come in handy if I ever wanted to actually leave the house alone with her.

I will say all this time just the three of us, and for me all the one on one with Tula has been such a bonding time for her and I. I feel so much more connected to her now more than ever. She is really starting to show affection in her own little ways, even if it's just a little snuggle here and there, but being one of two people to receive these gifts from her right now, I am getting lots of love and she pretty much makes me feel like supermom everytime she smiles at me. I had no idea what I was getting myself into with this whole parenting thing in so many different aspects, but the love I have for her is what has come as the most surprising to me. I mean, I knew I would love her, but I had know idea I COULD love her as much as I do. She shows me everyday what true love is, whether its a smile for me or watching her and John together. I never want to forget the way I love her now.

Well enough mushy stuff I guess. This is a long one and as I mentioned before I have a new houseful of things I "should" be doing so I will wrap it up. I believe I am starting to ramble anyways, probably due to the fact that it is 88 degrees inside my house right now!!!!! Yes, we live in AZ in August where it is 110 degrees outside and our air conditioner is broken. They are coming to fix it tomorrow but tomorrow can't come fast enough for all of us right now. It's gonna be a long night.....

No new pics today....sorry everybody. I will try and take a few tomorrow.