Baby Girl, Little Sister, Third Child, Unnamed One, we are ready for you.
Well you are not totally unnamed. We have some ideas. A few actually. But I don't really like to share names before birth, nor do I even really like to get accustomed to calling you by any other name than Baby until you arrive. So although we have a list of names, and it has been narrowed way down over the last few weeks, I am not naming you until you arrive, and I can hold you and look into your eyes and say "Oh yeah, she is definitely a _____."
It has occurred to me recently, as in the last couple days, that maybe the reason you have not made an appearance yet is because I haven't so much as mentioned you on this blog yet and maybe you were just feeling a little left out. After all, both your brother and sister both had numerous posts about their time in Mama's belly. Tula, of course being the first and me having nothing better to do, had weekly updates. Mav had quite a few less, as I was busy being tired and pregnant and a Mama to Tula. But you, my dear, have not even really been mentioned on this blog yet and I just thought that if I gave you a shout out, told you how loved and wanted you are already, that maybe you would put me out of my pregnancy misery (Mama is tired, Baby) and come out, come out, come out.
We are ready to celebrate your arrival. I am ready to celebrate you. Daddy is ready to celebrate not having a pregnant wife anymore.
Your Story, so far, is simple. You were wanted, you were planned. You were hoped for and anticipated. Your due date of September 25 tells us that you were conceived on December 25, and although I have no idea how accurate that is, it sure sounds like a nice romantic thought, so lets leave it like that. In early January, I was in Mav's room organizing some bins when I hurt my back. Threw it out, bad. Big time. Could not even walk. Daddy had to carry me to bed and I laid for a day and when the pain eased a little the next day I made my way to Urgent Care to find out what had happened. I figured I was pregnant, a sore back has been my first pregnancy indication with all three babes, but this was something fierce and it was so much worse that I really wanted to get it checked. I told the Doc I thought I was pregnant, and did a urine test that came back negative. I thought that was strange. I remember feeling sad. But honestly, I knew that I could still be in the early stages and not all hope was lost, I knew there was a chance their was still a little life swirling and twirling and dancing inside of my own.
On January 28, after a couple weeks of feeling exhausted and slightly nauseous and honestly just very pregnant, I went a bought a pregnancy test. I remember John had worked late and did't get home till after dinner and the day just felt WAY longer than it should have and I told him I was going to run out and get a test. I went to the Dollar Store by our house, cause I am an old pro at this by now and I didn't need some 13 dollar fancy schmancy test to tell me what I already knew. I bought test for a buck and rushed home and took it and Daddy and I hugged and kissed and smiled and were thankful when we saw those two pink lines and knew you were on your way.
This pregnancy has been pretty uneventful, I guess all of mine have been and I realize I have been blessed in that department. I started seeing a new Doctor with this pregnancy, as things sort of ended poorly with Mav's birth Doc after her basically missed the birth completely and still wanted to bill me his full fee after the fact. And I just wanted a different experience this time, so I found Dr. Kells, who came referred through a friend, and liked his practice and the idea that he had hired midwives who worked in his practice, under him, but were actually able to do all the prenatal stuff and even be the ones to show up and assist with the birth. I loved this, and I thought it was a perfect compromise for Daddy and I, or any couple in the situation we were in, where "she" wants a home birth experience and "he" is not comfortable with the idea of it. This would give me the whole midwife relationship and hopefully avoid more of the medical interventions I had grown to detest from delivery number 1 and 2, but still give John the peace of mind that a hospital environment provides some people with.
So we went ahead with that plan, I actually signed up for their Centering Pregnancy Program, which was a really cool way to do you monthly visit with the midwife in a support group like setting with about 10 to 15 other preggo's due around the same time as you. The first few minutes of the group, everyone takes their own chart and is responsible for weighing themselves, checking blood pressure, and putting all this info on the chart, then meeting for two minutes of alone time with the midwife to ask any personal questions before heading out to the main room to meet as a group. There, we would have some organized conversation, discuss a few different topics, maybe have a guest speaker, and time to ask questions and share what was going on. A lot of women had their husbands there, for most of them it was their first pregnancy and they didn't have kids at home. The Centering Program worked well for us too because it allowed the kids to stay home with Daddy while I did my appointment, and took the stress off of me trying to haul Tula and Mav to appts during the day time or find someone who could watch them while I went. It truly was a great program, a wonderful idea, and I think I went for 3 months, 3 different meetings. And I kept feeling like "this is absolutely wonderful, this is a great program, this is a perfect solution. But this is not for me."
I wanted a home birth, and I knew from Day 1 of knowing I was pregnant with You. I think I finally felt confident enough in myself. After two fairly easy, uneventful and unmedicated deliveries, I knew I was more than capable. But I knew that a home birth was NOT what your Daddy wanted. I knew it was asking him to step way out of his comfort zone. And I knew that he was my rock during my labors, the only person I wanted to see or hear or touch, and I needed to have him "with me " completely, totally confidently, as he had been the first two times, in order for this delivery to go as well as the others had. So I left it alone for those 3 months I attended the Centering Pregnancy, it was actually after my first trip to Canada this summer with the kids, and on the drive back from a day trip to Prescott with friends, that I brought it up in a round about way, as innocently and humbly as possible, and told your Daddy what I truly wanted for your birth. And he just listened, and didn't respond, which for him is actually a good sign. So we sat in silence for a few moments then I asked, more directly, if he would mind if I met with a few home birthing midwives while he and the kids were away to CT for their summer vacation, and he said that would be fine, and I remember just welling up with love for him, and gratitude that he would put my desires before his own, and be willing to overcome so many fears to be brave for me, and to just continue to be my rock even though it meant sort of reinventing himself in this department to do so. I was amazed, and still am, and no matter where you end up being born, Baby Girl, I will forever be grateful to your Daddy for encouraging me to follow my dreams and live them out, and be willing to walk the road with me.
So that lead to call around a bit, and after doing a little research on local midwives, John reminded me that friends of ours had a friend whose mom lived in the area, pretty close to our house actually, and was a midwife. I remember that I actually sat with her at their wedding, and we talked about all that kid of stuff, I felt drawn to her and hoped one day that I would meet her again, maybe where I would be needing her "services". I was so excited to call Sue, I drove over to her house and had my first appointment with her, which was the equivalent to stopping by and old friend's for coffee. She was as comfortable and easy and calming as I remembered and hoped for. She made me feel very confident and empowered, but explained to me how conservatively she operates, how little risk she was willing to take, how quick to go to the hospital she was if she thought there was a need. She was not the wild and free hippie midwife who would avoid the hospital at all costs. She was there to help me and my body do what she believed I could do on my own, in exchange I had to trust her with the decision of what I could handle at home and what I couldn't. I am MORE THAN HAPPY with that for a compromise, and I feel like she has been a perfect fit for us. John feels comfortable with the situation as well, and I have literally been living out a dream planning your home birth the last few weeks.
Most of the details are still up in the air. I have a birthing tub here, and when I feel like I am in labor we will blow that up and fill it with water. I imagine you will be born in there. But I like the idea that it is undecided, and I am so curious to see how it all will go. What I will choose to do when I have the choice. I just wanted the freedom and comfort that came from home birthing. I wanted to move how I want and not be attached to monitors and machines. I wanted to eat and drink what I want before, during, and after your birth. I wanted to not have to deal with IV's and annoyed nurses who are mad because you even suggested that you don't want one. I wanted your Daddy to catch you and place you in my arms, and people around us who would encourage that and help us live it out. I am unsure about so many of the fine details, who I want in the room, do I want a video camera rolling, what will I do with the placenta, will I wake up Tula and Mav to watch or let them sleep. These are all decisions that I am okay with making at that very moment, when I am in labour and know you are on your way. These are things I am, in may ways, indifferent about. The important things, what really mattered to me, have been decided. And as long as everything goes according to planned, you will be born right here, in our very own comfy cozy home. I cannot wait.
Although I gotta say, if you don't come soon, I seriously do not know if I will be able to resist the temptation of being induced after my due date. I do not even want to be faced with that option so if you could just come in the next day or two I wouldn't even need to think about it, which would be wonderful. You see, I was induced with both Tula and Mav, and although they were wonderful births, I really truly want to experience the joy an surprise and excitement of going into labor on my own. I want that story to tell. And, agreeing to an induction is agreeing to a hospital birth, which is NOT my dream. But I am hot and tired and uncomfortable, just done being pregnant, and the temptation would possibly be more than I could bear. So please, Baby Girl, just come so I don't even have to choose.
Lastly, I cannot tell you how beyond excited I was when we found out you were a girl. When the ultrasound tech told me, I cried tears of joy right there. I told her that was exactly what I wanted, that I had had two sisters growing up and they were are are my best friends in the whole world and I wanted that for Tula and for you. I cannot wait to add another girl to the mix, and let me tell you, you have an amazing big brother and sister who cannot wait to meet you and are going to love you like crazy. Tula already tells me how much she wants to do certain things for you, change your diapers and let people hold you and help me dress you. And play dolls with you:) She has also threatened, when I have said no to her about things, that she will not help me when the baby sister comes if I am not nice to her.
I cannot wait to hold you, to see you, to give thanks for your safe and healthy arrival. I cannot wait to see how your birth story will unfold. Baby Girl, we are all waiting for you. And totally ready. You can come any moment and you would just slip in and fit perfectly into our world. You don't have a bed, cause you will be sleeping with me. But we have some cozy blankets for you and a couple little outfits and we feel as ready as we can be. I promise I can make it just as comfy for you out here as I have in there, so come out come out wherever you are. We just cannot wait to love on you.
See you soon, little one.
~Mom
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Summer 2010
Cause that's how I roll right now. Oh yeah. 3 months jam packed with adventure. A half a dozen airplane rides. Many, many family members visited. More action than we could almost handle. Yes, a whole entire summer's worth. And I am about to post ALL about it in one, giant summer 2010 post. This should be fun.
Let me start by stating (okay, fine, whining about) the fact that it is still hovering around a solid 105 degrees throughout the daytime here in sunny Arizona. So other than the fact that my calendar is telling me that fall is here, clothing websites I frequent are now selling sweaters and and scarves, and all of my Canadian friends on facebook are starting to complain about how cold they are already, I would have no clue that fall was actually upon us. The summer weather, here in Arizona, is by no means over. Yes, it is lifting. The mornings have become bearable and the evenings are maybe a week away from being truly, truly, enjoyable. The break from the heat is a huge relief and so very welcome here. At (approximately) 73 weeks pregnant, I am ready for some of that gorgeous fall weather. Bring it on!
But back to business. Fall is technically here and summer is over everywhere else on the continent, so it's time for me to kick back and reminisce, write it down, and remember all the ways that summer 2010 was amazing. And amazing it was. It was a summer filled with family from both sides. It was a summer of trips to where we are from, where our roots are. It was a summer of breaks, so many breaks, and relaxation. It was a summer of dating...John and I have not spent this much time alone since before we were parents, maybe even before we were married. It was an amazing summer of what *may* be our last pregnancy, and having the support of family and friends to make it enjoyable and even easy on me and the kids. It was, as I reflect, the best summer I have had in a long, long time. And with a new baby on the way, and all the work that comes with having another wee little one around, it was probably the best summer I WILL have for a long, long time. Okay...maybe that it being a little dramatic. But it was an easy summer with big kids, so different than the baby stage.
Our whirlwind of summer vacations kicked off on June 16th when we flew out from Phoenix to Kamloops to spend some time with my family at my parent's lake house in Sicamous, BC. Heaven on earth there, let me tell ya. It is a beautiful piece of property with lots of room for all of us, my parents and their kids and one day even all of their husbands and kids. I look forward to many, many summer nights spent there with my sisters and their husbands and their babies. For now, my kids were the only littles running around and they enjoyed all the extra attention and love from their GG and Papa and Aunties. I was about 26 weeks pregnant when we got there, so I basked in the joys of not having to cook and clean and tend to children all day by myself. Plus, it had been WAY HOT in Arizona for 3 or 4 weeks at that point so we were all getting a little stir crazy. It was so nice to get there and get to enjoy being outside again. Unfortunately this year John couldn't join us. He had a wedding in CT planned for mid July that he was going to be in and work was busy enough (Thank God!) that he couldn't take that much time off this summer to make both trips. So of course we missed him every day, but we managed to keep busy and minds occupied while relaxing away in the Schushwap. Our time in BC was spent with lots of extra family coming to visit, the first weekend we were there we had a "girls weekend" with my Grandma Matson, lots of Matson Aunties, and a few more Matson cousins. Dorothy even had her girls there and Tula and Mav loved having a weekend of play with their cousins. After the girls weekend, we just relaxed, I got to hang lots with my sisters, spend lots of time on the boat. Take lots of lazy afternoon naps and sit out on the lawn reading a book. The kids loved to play under the deck at their outdoor play area complete with a kitchen set and lots of toys. They loved to go down to the Papa's beach and dig in the sand, and hang out on the dock, peering over the edge and looking for minnows. They loved learning to "ski" for the first time out on the boat, they were both fearless as they rode along the waters holding on tight to the rope attached to their giant floating sea doo like contraption. They loved late nights around the campfire, or just snuggling on someone's lap, and I loved having all the extra arms and laps to snuggle my kids for me. It is a wonderful feeling to see the family you are from loving on the family you have created. There were a million memories created at the lake this summer, and it is truly on of the most relaxing and peaceful places I have ever been. I cannot wait to visit every single summer, forever and ever.
We stayed in BC for just over two weeks and then drove back to Calgary and the kids and I caught a direct flight back to Phoenix and home to Daddy. We spent about a week and a half back in the blazing heat of Arizona, basically locked up in the house, while the kids and John counted down the days for their trip back to Connecticut. John was in his best friend's wedding this summer, it was July 17th, and had been booked for a couple months. When we got the invitation, I figured I would be too pregnant to make the trip out that way and we decided just John would go. Then, got to talking and figured he could take a kid...or two! At first, he was just going to take Tula. I honestly didn't think he had it in him to do the flight alone there with the both of them. I seriously do not think I could have done that long of a flight with the both of them at this age/stage. But John assured me they would all be fine and he wanted to take them both. Even when his direct flight out got cancelled the day of, and he has to rebook with a connecting flight in CHarlotte, NC, he still insisted Mav come along. John said the kids travelled awesome for him, they were angels for both flights minus a 5 minute meltdown from Tula at the end of the first one. Hey, can you blame the kid, it was about 2 am and she was WAY confused and sleepy. He surprised his family by not telling them that Mav was coming so they got a special treat when they saw BOTH grandkids at the airport, and they were off for a fun week at Grandpa and Grandma Coppola's.
Now before I go on about all the East Coast fun they had, let me just say dropping my ENTIRE family off at the airport that night to catch their red eye at 11pm broke my heart in pieces. For weeks, maybe months, I had been looking forward to this trip. This time to be all alone, to have the house to myself, all the freedom and independence a girl could want. And a huge part of me was truly looking forward to that. But dropping them off that night at the airport, I was a sobbing mess. At one point Tula actually said "Don't cry Mommy, you will make me cry too" and I knew I had to suck it up, but watching the three off them all get through security and walk down the terminal to their gate with their backs to me, I am sure stander bys were wondering if I was going to be alright because I basically had a meltdown in the middle of the airport. Saying goodbye to all of them so, so hard. I bawled all the way home and went to bed as soon as I got home, tired from all the emotion and honestly looking forward to a lot of hours of uninterrupted sleep. The next morning, I woke up with a better attitude, once I knew they were there safe and sound, and my week of fun began. Obviously being 6 months pregnant, it was nothing too wild. But I enjoyed every second of having the house to myself. Cups of coffee and organizing and reorganizing my kitchen and bedroom and kids toys and clothes and just everything. I even FINALLY went through my cherished box of pre baby, pre marital clothing. Oh you know, those adorably short and cute (and miniature) shorts and skirts that I would never be caught dead in now, even if I could ever fit into them again. Bottom line, the stuff was out of style, and I was clinging to a prayer by holding on to it. Plus, I figure if I am ever that small again anyways to fit into those clothes, I probably deserve to treat myself to a new wardrobe at that point anyways. I got rid of so much stuff that week. If it hadn't been used or worn in the last year, it probably didn't make the cut. I got two or three massages that week, at the most random times of day. I went to movies with friends and lots of dinners out. I napped whenever I wanted and woke up and ran out to get food. It was an awesome week, and not gonna lie, it made me miss the good old days when life was easy peasy. But by the end of the week (they were gone 8 days) I had cleaned and organized every nook and cranny, ate at all my fave places and caught up with every friend under the sun, some more than once, I was ready, so ready to have all my birdies back in the nest. I was JUST AS MUCH of a basketcase of tears and emotion picking them up. The kids have never looked cuter or more grown up or just more squeezable as they did running towards me through the security gate. They could not wait to tell me all about their week and both seemed to age and change so much in that one week of being away. I am so thankful to have married a super dad who is capable of doing trips like that with the kids and "giving me the break I have been saying I need for two years". I truly enjoyed every second of it. Thank you, thank you, thank you to John and the Coppola clan.
The kids had a blast in CT and we surrounded by a houseful of people who absolutely adore them. The got to go to Norwalk Aquarium, Rye Playland, The Big Apple Circus, and the Bronx Zoo. They got to spend a day at Aunt Carmella's beach and even took a trip up to visit Uncle Jason and see his place. Aunt Gayle was always shooting videos of them with her Flip camera and emailing me almost nightly updates complete with video, and that made the distance between us more bearable. I had decided that I would not ask to talk to Tula on the phone, and see if she would ask for me, as to not upset her. Well, turns out she didn't ask for me, so we never even spoke on the phone for 8 days and it was driving me crazy how much I missed the sound of her voice. Of course I was missing Maver too, but he is not interested in the phone anyways so I knew I never had a chance to try talking with him, and figured the phone could really mess him up. So I drove myself crazy and stayed away. I knew they were in more than capable hands and getting more love and attention than they were used to, so I chose to deal with the fact that they were perfectly fine without me, and they were.
John and the kids came home on July 21st, I had another week or so to hang with them while John went back to work, and on August 1st my mom flew in to hang out for a day or so, and she flew out with the kids on the 3rd of August to leave John and I home in AZ and kidless for ANOTHER week. This time, though, I got to have my hubby with me and that made it extra fun. He was working nights, so leaving at 8 or 9 at night and coming home at 5 am and crawling into bed and I would get up for a couple hours and have my coffee and cleaning time and then he would get up and we would hang out, watch tv together, take off in the car randomly. He was so good with helping me pack things away I couldn't lift or do without him, pull boxes down I wanted to look into, clean and reach things that I couldn't. We spent one afternoon at the pool together, just hanging out...me reading, him sleeping. It was like a vacation we have needed forever, but better than a vacation because we had all the comforts of our home, without the day to day tasks that normally come with it. Oh, the week was wonderful, and it reminded me that I truly have married my best friend, and the most perfect guy for me there is. We had a couple of those late night conversations that tangle and drag till 2 in the morning when you just look at each other and realize you are just talking to talk, and to hear, and to be close. Sometimes kids can get in the way of that desire, I know we both just get so exhausted that it takes to much energy to even stir up the desire for deep convo, let alone execute it. But this was a wonderful reminder to both of us. Plus, it was fun. We still totally dig each other, not that I didn't know that already, but it was just fun to have someone diggin' on me all week with NO interruptions, you know. Best week ever. Of my life. For sure.
Oh wow, I feel the need to throw in a "but I love being a mom and I love my kids more than life itself" right here. Don't get me wrong, I do. And I love hanging with them. But this 3 kids in 3 year business has turned our life into a gong show, our house into a zoo, and me into a baby making factory. And as much joy as our kids bring into our life, all you MOmmies and Daddies out there know they are a FULL TIME JOB. No matter what. We has lots of help this summer, more than our fair share. And I am so grateful for every single one of those days. That our kids are so loved my so many people willing not just to have fun with them, but t take on the task of going through the day to day stuff with them for a week or so. It takes a village, and we truly have an incredible one.
August 9th my sister flew back with my kids and stayed with us for a week or so. By this point, it's still FRYING HOT here in Arizona, 110 or more every day, and I am 34 weeks pregnant, measuring even bigger, and just too hot and tired to do a thing with the kids. So Auntie Jenelle to the rescue, she flew in and stayed, woke up almost every morning with the kids, entertained them, helped me get them to and from the pool a couple times (I seriously couldn't leave the house with the two of them by myself, I was so hot and huge). Jen did lots of crafts with the kids, and even one on one with Tula when Mav would go down. We even made a trip to the Arizona Museum for Youth one morning for a couple hours. It was so nice to have all the help. I think Jenelle left on the 16th or 17th of August, and I literally had till the 21st to fill a couple days with me and the kids before Maryann (Grandma Coppola!) got here for a week.
My mother in law came ready to help in any way, and first day here we went and bought groceries so she could start cooking all of John's favorite things. It is so nice for me to be able to lay up in my bed and relax and have my house smell like amazing yummy food that I can't wait to eat and not have to do any of the work associated with preparing it. Plus, the relief of having a more than happy husband at every single meal time and not having to deal with any of the preparation of that either. Plus, my kids love having the company and new face in the house. Tula loved to go shopping with Grandma Coppola and was forever asking her to "play with me". And Maryann would get on the floor and play Barbies all afternoon and just love Tula and Mav and pour into them in ways that only Grandmas can and it is such a blessing in my life and in theirs. After a great week here, and me feeling more relaxed than ever, Maryann had to go back on the 28th of August.
You see, I knew at this point that I had had a lot of help already this summer. And to be honest, I sort of planned it this way. I knew in June that this was going to be a long, hot summer, and with me miserable and pregnant (yeah, the two sort of go hand in hand for me) that me being cooped up in the house with the kids all summer not being able to go outside because of the heat would not be in their best interests or mine. So I had kind of had a hand in arranging a lot of these trips before they even happened. Whenever I had a brea, and it was about to end, I knew when, exactly on the date, the next one would begin. So I never had too long to go stir crazy, and we always had something to look forward to. Well, that was not really the case on Aug 28th when Maryann left. That was really my last planned trip of help before the baby was set to arrive, and I think I just thought I would go early and not have to do that last month of pregnancy without family around. Boy, was I wrong. So needless to say, I was devastated when my mother in law left because I just didn't know who would help or what would happen. And who is the sure bet in situations like that? Who ALWAYS pulls through, when you think you have exercised all your options, who is there to volunteer and commit and jump through hoops to help. That's right....MOMMY to the rescue.
There aren't words to say how much pregnancies and the child bearing and raising years have made me appreciate my mom. Not just for who she is, but for actually THAT she is. That she is even here, because I realize now that even that in itself is a gift. But then, even more, for who she is. She is "that mom" that will get on a plane and come help you out for a week, even after you have had essentially two months of unending help. She's "that mom" that can come in and pick up wherever I have left off in my house. Scoop the kids up for a bath or wash the dishes (AND knows how to put them away!) or put my babes to bed while the hubby and I just take a walk. She can literally come into this house and take my place in the Mama department without skipping a beat, and that is just such a gift, again to me and my children, and I know that. I am so, so thankful. So Mama to the rescue, she came down for almost two weeks, hoping to be here for the birth of this next grandchild. Waiting patiently, and still nothing. MOm got here on Sept 1st and stayed till the 13th, when she had to head back to deal with the closing of the house in Calgary and moving into a new one on the 16th. And being the superhero she is, she went home for a week, secretly praying I would stay pregnant the whole time, I know it. Anyways, went home for a week and rushed through everything she needed to get done with her houses, and came back tonight, Sept 21st to sit with me and ride these last few nights (please God, let it be nights and not weeks) of pregnancy out and be here to help me and make the transition of welcoming Baby#3 as easy on our family as possible. I could not be more thrilled that she is here. For the break, for the help, more the extra love and support that only your mom can give you. It is well, well needed during the next few days. Mama is tired, and ready to rock this baby out.
So, to my kids, I am going to throw this out there now, because you deserve the help just as much, if not more that I did. Remind me of this Summer 2010 when you are going through these years of your life. Hopefully, you don't have to. I pray that I grow to have as much compassion and empathy and grace for you guys as my and John's family has had for me this summer. BUT if I don't, remind me of this letter and this summer. It was so refreshing. It was just what our family needed. All of us, space to grow, freedom, time to reflect. I missed you kids so much every day we were apart, but I pray that when you have your own that you will take lots of time for yourselves as well, to love yourself and enjoy your spouse and just kick back and not always take life too serious. Parenting is hard work, and I want to be there to help and serve you guys in all the ways that I have felt helped and served this summer. I have been able to feel so incredibly loved through it all, and I can honestly say I wouldn't have been able to do it without everyone's help. Well, I could have done it but it would NOT have been fun for Tula and Mav. Tula, Mav, Baby #3...important note: If you need help, ask for it. You are surrounded by people who love you. Do not be afraid to wave a big banner stating that you are in over your head. Send out an SOS. God will pour out His love for you through others and you will experience His grace and mercy living life on life in a community of people who want to help you. And I pray I will always be one of those people in your life. The Old Faithfuls, the dependables. Those ones are absolutely God's gift to you.
I also want to add that I have received a HUGE amount of love and support from our neighbors. We have so many friends on our street with kids the same age, and so lots of other Mommies who know just how tough this time can be, and just the sort of help I need. Last week when I had the break of no one extra staying with me and John out of town for work, I sent out and SOS email to all my friends on the street just saying my worries for the week and that I may need a hand. I got an email back from each and every one of them, offering a certain shift that week that they were available for me to drop off my kids, or inviting me over for dinner and bathtime, or some other kind email of encouragement and help. I was blown away by the sense of love that that kind of supportive community can provide. Als, my small group friends, who mean the world to me, all responded in kindness when I send out an email of prayer request/help wanted describing my week. Another amazing group of people who were so quick to respond, offering their love, support encouragement, time, and prayers. I had a huge network of people on call and available for whatever I needed, and although I didn't need as much help as I thought I would going into the week, it meant the world to me knowing it was available if I needed it. I realized I have been truly, truly blessed in the friendship department.
So that was it for Summer 2010. It was a summer filled with everything summer should be. Lazy days and relaxing evenings and beautiful weather, campfires and snuggles and loved ones and cherished friends. And it was a wonderful, relaxing break for John and I, a chance to reconnect and unwind and just enjoy where we are at in life. It was honestly the best summer I can say I have ever had, or that I can remember in a long, long time. Now, we are settling in for fall here. Tula has started her first ballet class and Mav is in a little sports class (sometimes, when he wants too) and we are waiting for that wondrous Arizona fall and winter weather to hit, the heat has still not quite broken. Most of all, we are patiently awaiting the arrival of a beautiful baby girl who should be joining us any day now. Fall is looking to be just as wonderful as summer after all.
Good bye Summer, thank you for being extra wonderful to us this year. We could not have asked for more.
Let me start by stating (okay, fine, whining about) the fact that it is still hovering around a solid 105 degrees throughout the daytime here in sunny Arizona. So other than the fact that my calendar is telling me that fall is here, clothing websites I frequent are now selling sweaters and and scarves, and all of my Canadian friends on facebook are starting to complain about how cold they are already, I would have no clue that fall was actually upon us. The summer weather, here in Arizona, is by no means over. Yes, it is lifting. The mornings have become bearable and the evenings are maybe a week away from being truly, truly, enjoyable. The break from the heat is a huge relief and so very welcome here. At (approximately) 73 weeks pregnant, I am ready for some of that gorgeous fall weather. Bring it on!
But back to business. Fall is technically here and summer is over everywhere else on the continent, so it's time for me to kick back and reminisce, write it down, and remember all the ways that summer 2010 was amazing. And amazing it was. It was a summer filled with family from both sides. It was a summer of trips to where we are from, where our roots are. It was a summer of breaks, so many breaks, and relaxation. It was a summer of dating...John and I have not spent this much time alone since before we were parents, maybe even before we were married. It was an amazing summer of what *may* be our last pregnancy, and having the support of family and friends to make it enjoyable and even easy on me and the kids. It was, as I reflect, the best summer I have had in a long, long time. And with a new baby on the way, and all the work that comes with having another wee little one around, it was probably the best summer I WILL have for a long, long time. Okay...maybe that it being a little dramatic. But it was an easy summer with big kids, so different than the baby stage.
Our whirlwind of summer vacations kicked off on June 16th when we flew out from Phoenix to Kamloops to spend some time with my family at my parent's lake house in Sicamous, BC. Heaven on earth there, let me tell ya. It is a beautiful piece of property with lots of room for all of us, my parents and their kids and one day even all of their husbands and kids. I look forward to many, many summer nights spent there with my sisters and their husbands and their babies. For now, my kids were the only littles running around and they enjoyed all the extra attention and love from their GG and Papa and Aunties. I was about 26 weeks pregnant when we got there, so I basked in the joys of not having to cook and clean and tend to children all day by myself. Plus, it had been WAY HOT in Arizona for 3 or 4 weeks at that point so we were all getting a little stir crazy. It was so nice to get there and get to enjoy being outside again. Unfortunately this year John couldn't join us. He had a wedding in CT planned for mid July that he was going to be in and work was busy enough (Thank God!) that he couldn't take that much time off this summer to make both trips. So of course we missed him every day, but we managed to keep busy and minds occupied while relaxing away in the Schushwap. Our time in BC was spent with lots of extra family coming to visit, the first weekend we were there we had a "girls weekend" with my Grandma Matson, lots of Matson Aunties, and a few more Matson cousins. Dorothy even had her girls there and Tula and Mav loved having a weekend of play with their cousins. After the girls weekend, we just relaxed, I got to hang lots with my sisters, spend lots of time on the boat. Take lots of lazy afternoon naps and sit out on the lawn reading a book. The kids loved to play under the deck at their outdoor play area complete with a kitchen set and lots of toys. They loved to go down to the Papa's beach and dig in the sand, and hang out on the dock, peering over the edge and looking for minnows. They loved learning to "ski" for the first time out on the boat, they were both fearless as they rode along the waters holding on tight to the rope attached to their giant floating sea doo like contraption. They loved late nights around the campfire, or just snuggling on someone's lap, and I loved having all the extra arms and laps to snuggle my kids for me. It is a wonderful feeling to see the family you are from loving on the family you have created. There were a million memories created at the lake this summer, and it is truly on of the most relaxing and peaceful places I have ever been. I cannot wait to visit every single summer, forever and ever.
We stayed in BC for just over two weeks and then drove back to Calgary and the kids and I caught a direct flight back to Phoenix and home to Daddy. We spent about a week and a half back in the blazing heat of Arizona, basically locked up in the house, while the kids and John counted down the days for their trip back to Connecticut. John was in his best friend's wedding this summer, it was July 17th, and had been booked for a couple months. When we got the invitation, I figured I would be too pregnant to make the trip out that way and we decided just John would go. Then, got to talking and figured he could take a kid...or two! At first, he was just going to take Tula. I honestly didn't think he had it in him to do the flight alone there with the both of them. I seriously do not think I could have done that long of a flight with the both of them at this age/stage. But John assured me they would all be fine and he wanted to take them both. Even when his direct flight out got cancelled the day of, and he has to rebook with a connecting flight in CHarlotte, NC, he still insisted Mav come along. John said the kids travelled awesome for him, they were angels for both flights minus a 5 minute meltdown from Tula at the end of the first one. Hey, can you blame the kid, it was about 2 am and she was WAY confused and sleepy. He surprised his family by not telling them that Mav was coming so they got a special treat when they saw BOTH grandkids at the airport, and they were off for a fun week at Grandpa and Grandma Coppola's.
Now before I go on about all the East Coast fun they had, let me just say dropping my ENTIRE family off at the airport that night to catch their red eye at 11pm broke my heart in pieces. For weeks, maybe months, I had been looking forward to this trip. This time to be all alone, to have the house to myself, all the freedom and independence a girl could want. And a huge part of me was truly looking forward to that. But dropping them off that night at the airport, I was a sobbing mess. At one point Tula actually said "Don't cry Mommy, you will make me cry too" and I knew I had to suck it up, but watching the three off them all get through security and walk down the terminal to their gate with their backs to me, I am sure stander bys were wondering if I was going to be alright because I basically had a meltdown in the middle of the airport. Saying goodbye to all of them so, so hard. I bawled all the way home and went to bed as soon as I got home, tired from all the emotion and honestly looking forward to a lot of hours of uninterrupted sleep. The next morning, I woke up with a better attitude, once I knew they were there safe and sound, and my week of fun began. Obviously being 6 months pregnant, it was nothing too wild. But I enjoyed every second of having the house to myself. Cups of coffee and organizing and reorganizing my kitchen and bedroom and kids toys and clothes and just everything. I even FINALLY went through my cherished box of pre baby, pre marital clothing. Oh you know, those adorably short and cute (and miniature) shorts and skirts that I would never be caught dead in now, even if I could ever fit into them again. Bottom line, the stuff was out of style, and I was clinging to a prayer by holding on to it. Plus, I figure if I am ever that small again anyways to fit into those clothes, I probably deserve to treat myself to a new wardrobe at that point anyways. I got rid of so much stuff that week. If it hadn't been used or worn in the last year, it probably didn't make the cut. I got two or three massages that week, at the most random times of day. I went to movies with friends and lots of dinners out. I napped whenever I wanted and woke up and ran out to get food. It was an awesome week, and not gonna lie, it made me miss the good old days when life was easy peasy. But by the end of the week (they were gone 8 days) I had cleaned and organized every nook and cranny, ate at all my fave places and caught up with every friend under the sun, some more than once, I was ready, so ready to have all my birdies back in the nest. I was JUST AS MUCH of a basketcase of tears and emotion picking them up. The kids have never looked cuter or more grown up or just more squeezable as they did running towards me through the security gate. They could not wait to tell me all about their week and both seemed to age and change so much in that one week of being away. I am so thankful to have married a super dad who is capable of doing trips like that with the kids and "giving me the break I have been saying I need for two years". I truly enjoyed every second of it. Thank you, thank you, thank you to John and the Coppola clan.
The kids had a blast in CT and we surrounded by a houseful of people who absolutely adore them. The got to go to Norwalk Aquarium, Rye Playland, The Big Apple Circus, and the Bronx Zoo. They got to spend a day at Aunt Carmella's beach and even took a trip up to visit Uncle Jason and see his place. Aunt Gayle was always shooting videos of them with her Flip camera and emailing me almost nightly updates complete with video, and that made the distance between us more bearable. I had decided that I would not ask to talk to Tula on the phone, and see if she would ask for me, as to not upset her. Well, turns out she didn't ask for me, so we never even spoke on the phone for 8 days and it was driving me crazy how much I missed the sound of her voice. Of course I was missing Maver too, but he is not interested in the phone anyways so I knew I never had a chance to try talking with him, and figured the phone could really mess him up. So I drove myself crazy and stayed away. I knew they were in more than capable hands and getting more love and attention than they were used to, so I chose to deal with the fact that they were perfectly fine without me, and they were.
John and the kids came home on July 21st, I had another week or so to hang with them while John went back to work, and on August 1st my mom flew in to hang out for a day or so, and she flew out with the kids on the 3rd of August to leave John and I home in AZ and kidless for ANOTHER week. This time, though, I got to have my hubby with me and that made it extra fun. He was working nights, so leaving at 8 or 9 at night and coming home at 5 am and crawling into bed and I would get up for a couple hours and have my coffee and cleaning time and then he would get up and we would hang out, watch tv together, take off in the car randomly. He was so good with helping me pack things away I couldn't lift or do without him, pull boxes down I wanted to look into, clean and reach things that I couldn't. We spent one afternoon at the pool together, just hanging out...me reading, him sleeping. It was like a vacation we have needed forever, but better than a vacation because we had all the comforts of our home, without the day to day tasks that normally come with it. Oh, the week was wonderful, and it reminded me that I truly have married my best friend, and the most perfect guy for me there is. We had a couple of those late night conversations that tangle and drag till 2 in the morning when you just look at each other and realize you are just talking to talk, and to hear, and to be close. Sometimes kids can get in the way of that desire, I know we both just get so exhausted that it takes to much energy to even stir up the desire for deep convo, let alone execute it. But this was a wonderful reminder to both of us. Plus, it was fun. We still totally dig each other, not that I didn't know that already, but it was just fun to have someone diggin' on me all week with NO interruptions, you know. Best week ever. Of my life. For sure.
Oh wow, I feel the need to throw in a "but I love being a mom and I love my kids more than life itself" right here. Don't get me wrong, I do. And I love hanging with them. But this 3 kids in 3 year business has turned our life into a gong show, our house into a zoo, and me into a baby making factory. And as much joy as our kids bring into our life, all you MOmmies and Daddies out there know they are a FULL TIME JOB. No matter what. We has lots of help this summer, more than our fair share. And I am so grateful for every single one of those days. That our kids are so loved my so many people willing not just to have fun with them, but t take on the task of going through the day to day stuff with them for a week or so. It takes a village, and we truly have an incredible one.
August 9th my sister flew back with my kids and stayed with us for a week or so. By this point, it's still FRYING HOT here in Arizona, 110 or more every day, and I am 34 weeks pregnant, measuring even bigger, and just too hot and tired to do a thing with the kids. So Auntie Jenelle to the rescue, she flew in and stayed, woke up almost every morning with the kids, entertained them, helped me get them to and from the pool a couple times (I seriously couldn't leave the house with the two of them by myself, I was so hot and huge). Jen did lots of crafts with the kids, and even one on one with Tula when Mav would go down. We even made a trip to the Arizona Museum for Youth one morning for a couple hours. It was so nice to have all the help. I think Jenelle left on the 16th or 17th of August, and I literally had till the 21st to fill a couple days with me and the kids before Maryann (Grandma Coppola!) got here for a week.
My mother in law came ready to help in any way, and first day here we went and bought groceries so she could start cooking all of John's favorite things. It is so nice for me to be able to lay up in my bed and relax and have my house smell like amazing yummy food that I can't wait to eat and not have to do any of the work associated with preparing it. Plus, the relief of having a more than happy husband at every single meal time and not having to deal with any of the preparation of that either. Plus, my kids love having the company and new face in the house. Tula loved to go shopping with Grandma Coppola and was forever asking her to "play with me". And Maryann would get on the floor and play Barbies all afternoon and just love Tula and Mav and pour into them in ways that only Grandmas can and it is such a blessing in my life and in theirs. After a great week here, and me feeling more relaxed than ever, Maryann had to go back on the 28th of August.
You see, I knew at this point that I had had a lot of help already this summer. And to be honest, I sort of planned it this way. I knew in June that this was going to be a long, hot summer, and with me miserable and pregnant (yeah, the two sort of go hand in hand for me) that me being cooped up in the house with the kids all summer not being able to go outside because of the heat would not be in their best interests or mine. So I had kind of had a hand in arranging a lot of these trips before they even happened. Whenever I had a brea, and it was about to end, I knew when, exactly on the date, the next one would begin. So I never had too long to go stir crazy, and we always had something to look forward to. Well, that was not really the case on Aug 28th when Maryann left. That was really my last planned trip of help before the baby was set to arrive, and I think I just thought I would go early and not have to do that last month of pregnancy without family around. Boy, was I wrong. So needless to say, I was devastated when my mother in law left because I just didn't know who would help or what would happen. And who is the sure bet in situations like that? Who ALWAYS pulls through, when you think you have exercised all your options, who is there to volunteer and commit and jump through hoops to help. That's right....MOMMY to the rescue.
There aren't words to say how much pregnancies and the child bearing and raising years have made me appreciate my mom. Not just for who she is, but for actually THAT she is. That she is even here, because I realize now that even that in itself is a gift. But then, even more, for who she is. She is "that mom" that will get on a plane and come help you out for a week, even after you have had essentially two months of unending help. She's "that mom" that can come in and pick up wherever I have left off in my house. Scoop the kids up for a bath or wash the dishes (AND knows how to put them away!) or put my babes to bed while the hubby and I just take a walk. She can literally come into this house and take my place in the Mama department without skipping a beat, and that is just such a gift, again to me and my children, and I know that. I am so, so thankful. So Mama to the rescue, she came down for almost two weeks, hoping to be here for the birth of this next grandchild. Waiting patiently, and still nothing. MOm got here on Sept 1st and stayed till the 13th, when she had to head back to deal with the closing of the house in Calgary and moving into a new one on the 16th. And being the superhero she is, she went home for a week, secretly praying I would stay pregnant the whole time, I know it. Anyways, went home for a week and rushed through everything she needed to get done with her houses, and came back tonight, Sept 21st to sit with me and ride these last few nights (please God, let it be nights and not weeks) of pregnancy out and be here to help me and make the transition of welcoming Baby#3 as easy on our family as possible. I could not be more thrilled that she is here. For the break, for the help, more the extra love and support that only your mom can give you. It is well, well needed during the next few days. Mama is tired, and ready to rock this baby out.
So, to my kids, I am going to throw this out there now, because you deserve the help just as much, if not more that I did. Remind me of this Summer 2010 when you are going through these years of your life. Hopefully, you don't have to. I pray that I grow to have as much compassion and empathy and grace for you guys as my and John's family has had for me this summer. BUT if I don't, remind me of this letter and this summer. It was so refreshing. It was just what our family needed. All of us, space to grow, freedom, time to reflect. I missed you kids so much every day we were apart, but I pray that when you have your own that you will take lots of time for yourselves as well, to love yourself and enjoy your spouse and just kick back and not always take life too serious. Parenting is hard work, and I want to be there to help and serve you guys in all the ways that I have felt helped and served this summer. I have been able to feel so incredibly loved through it all, and I can honestly say I wouldn't have been able to do it without everyone's help. Well, I could have done it but it would NOT have been fun for Tula and Mav. Tula, Mav, Baby #3...important note: If you need help, ask for it. You are surrounded by people who love you. Do not be afraid to wave a big banner stating that you are in over your head. Send out an SOS. God will pour out His love for you through others and you will experience His grace and mercy living life on life in a community of people who want to help you. And I pray I will always be one of those people in your life. The Old Faithfuls, the dependables. Those ones are absolutely God's gift to you.
I also want to add that I have received a HUGE amount of love and support from our neighbors. We have so many friends on our street with kids the same age, and so lots of other Mommies who know just how tough this time can be, and just the sort of help I need. Last week when I had the break of no one extra staying with me and John out of town for work, I sent out and SOS email to all my friends on the street just saying my worries for the week and that I may need a hand. I got an email back from each and every one of them, offering a certain shift that week that they were available for me to drop off my kids, or inviting me over for dinner and bathtime, or some other kind email of encouragement and help. I was blown away by the sense of love that that kind of supportive community can provide. Als, my small group friends, who mean the world to me, all responded in kindness when I send out an email of prayer request/help wanted describing my week. Another amazing group of people who were so quick to respond, offering their love, support encouragement, time, and prayers. I had a huge network of people on call and available for whatever I needed, and although I didn't need as much help as I thought I would going into the week, it meant the world to me knowing it was available if I needed it. I realized I have been truly, truly blessed in the friendship department.
So that was it for Summer 2010. It was a summer filled with everything summer should be. Lazy days and relaxing evenings and beautiful weather, campfires and snuggles and loved ones and cherished friends. And it was a wonderful, relaxing break for John and I, a chance to reconnect and unwind and just enjoy where we are at in life. It was honestly the best summer I can say I have ever had, or that I can remember in a long, long time. Now, we are settling in for fall here. Tula has started her first ballet class and Mav is in a little sports class (sometimes, when he wants too) and we are waiting for that wondrous Arizona fall and winter weather to hit, the heat has still not quite broken. Most of all, we are patiently awaiting the arrival of a beautiful baby girl who should be joining us any day now. Fall is looking to be just as wonderful as summer after all.
Good bye Summer, thank you for being extra wonderful to us this year. We could not have asked for more.
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