Not gonna lie.....

I am kind of dreading doing this post. Sometimes, this blog is like wet sand in my bathing suit. This annoying "thing" in the back of my head that I have to "take care of", or cross off my unending list of "things to do". Me and my blog have a love/hate relationship. Bottom line. And tonight, at 11:44 pm, the last thing I feel like doing right now is banging away on the keyboard for an hour trying to fill in all the blanks of the last 6 weeks of my life. Or the kids life, for that matter. It's been crazy, wild, hectic, sad, revealing, glorious, wonderful time for all of us. My whole family. Can't I just leave it at that? Sometimes I use this blog to journal all the things I want to remember about "now". And then I realize that there are so many more important things that never make it to the blog that I will never, ever forget. Even if I tried.

Many times, a thought or idea or something crosses my mind and I think, "I should blog about that. Maybe I will post something about it." Maybe it's an opinion. Maybe it's a feeling. Some random thought (usually about mothering, etc.) that I would like to divulge into a little deeper, explore a little further. And I don't. Why? Or, better question, why not? Because I am too busy? Doing what? Facebooking? Dlisting? Picking the ENTIRE FOAM ALPHABET off the shower floor? Not doing anything that I will cherish as much as being able to reflect on my heart's thoughts and hopes during this special time in my life.

So, I guess, if I were to have a New Year's resolution, that would be it. I am going to write a little more. Here, hopefully....maybe. Not just a monthly update on the kids. From time to time, I WILL sit down and jot it out, what I am thinking, or what I thunk, or whatever. If there is one thing I have learned in the last 6 weeks it's that the tiniest things can make the biggest difference. My blog doesn't have to be a big daunting task for me. It is an outlet and a forum for me to unload everything. Memories, thoughts, opinions, desires, fears, loves, and of course currents events in the Coppola house. But sometimes, a quick little blurb about what we have been up to or what I am feeling is just as special as the big long monthly post. Good things come in small packages, right?

Here's the thing. Obviously it has been forever since my last posting, especially my monthly update for the kids. But I am going to relieve myself of the burden of trying to play catch-up and just admit right now that it isn't going to get done. It's just way too late. So Mav and Tula, love you both to bits, but in your "blog book" you will each be missing the month of Dec 2008. Poor Mav, your first Christmas will go down in the books as sunstantially less documented than your Sis's. And one day maybe you will ask me why, or what happened that month that I just wasn't on the ball. And I will have a story for you that will explain it all.

We have been 'round the world this month. We flew to Canada on Dec. 6th for the unexpected and early arrival of our newest family member, my first niece and Tula and Mav's first cousin ever, Miss Kiya Jade. We stayed for a week in Canada, I got to meet the fabulous little early Christmas present at the hospital a few times, and then we headed back to AZ on the 15th of Dec, only to fly out a day early to NY for Christmas on the 18th. We had Christmas this year in CT with John's family, it was wonderful. A white winter wonderland, as John would say, with lots of wonderful food, fun, guitar hero, and laughs with family and friends. The kids got their fill of love and affection and of course, completely spoiled with Christmas prezzies and such. And then, we got a call with the sad news that Kiya had taken a turn for the worst and on Dec 30, she went home to Jesus. A quick trip she took to our world and into our hearts, just long enough to remind us all what is really important. Dec 31st, we cancelled our trip back to AZ and packed the kids up and headed back to Calgary for Kiya's funeral and some time with the fam. We got home to Arizona on the 8th, so almost a week ago, and I (we all) are still trying to get back into the swing of everyday life. It tough on all of us to not have all the extra hands, entertainment, company, and friendship. On the other hand, I feel very fortunate that we were able to get as much time as we did with our families this holiday season. That plane tickets are affordable enough that hopping on a flight last minute as a family of 4 is even an option. That my kids are great travelers and can handle being in a new bed every week for a month straight.

I have a list that I have been keeping the last few days in my famous "book of lists" that I keep about all the things that I wanted/needed to write about tonight. Kiya, you were at the top. But I look at that one little word on paper and realize that nothing more needs to be written. I will keep you at the top of my list and close to my heart for a long, long time. Tiffany, I love you so much. And that's all I have to say about that.

Anyways, that list has so much more on it, some of it I will try and write about this week. And some of it I may not get around to. And if I feel like it, I *may* even get all Chatty Cathy on y'all and write about some stuff not on the list. Maybe. Not if I have the time. If I make the time. Every single minute counts. New year, new me.