23 months old!

Well baby girl I can hardly believe that at this time next month you will be my two year old. What has the time went? I can actually say, where have the YEARS went? Every day flies by, and although there are times in the middle of the day that feel like it will never end, I can't tell you the last time I laid my head down on the pillow and didn't feel like the day just raced by. You keep my so busy throughout the day, and you are lucky your brother still naps so much and is so chill to be put down because you really require a lot of time and energy right now. Most of our longest conversations are me trying to translate what you are trying to tell me and we sometimes have long, extensive conversations like this that are either successful, or totally frustrating for both us us. For sure, the biggest frustration at this age is communication for you. You know what you want, how you are feeling, what you don't like, etc. but you just don't know how to express it. Today, you wanted to phone "Papa" and brought me the phone and kept saying "Papa, home?" I called the house and he wasn't home and you were devastated. So I called his cell and he answered and I put you on the phone. You hardly got one word out. Maybe "hello" and then looked at me with your saddest face and cried "Papa" and pointed to the door. All the while he is on the phone listening. I knew what you were trying to tell me. You missed Papa, you wanted him to come here, you were sad, all that kind of stuff. But it was obvious it was all just kind of new and confusing to you. It seems you are starting to learn a bit about emotions and feelings and it's all bug tough stuff to figure out. And, like every Mommy, I wish I could take all your sadness and worries away, but I can't. So I picked you up and hugged you after we hung up the phone and snuggled a bit. You were just sad. I asked you if you missed Papa, and you said yes. I asked you if you were sad, and you said yes. And we just sort of sat there for a minute taking it all in and letting you sort it out. Of course after a couple minutes of that, it was back to playtime and brother and whatever else we were doing. Your feelings seem to change or go as easily as they come. But it was a good reminder and lesson for me today. Right now, everything you are feeling is multiplied by one thousand with the newness of the emotions and the inability to communicate them effectively. It actually makes me sad just to think about how tough that must be for you. But it teaches me to live in the moment with you, and I love watching all this new big stuff mold you into the little girl you are becoming all too quickly, right before my very eyes.

I can't talk any more about communication without sharing some of our current and favorite Tula- "isms". There are so many, you seem to have a word for everything. Sometimes, it is a perfect match for the real world. Other times, we have absolutely NO IDEA what you are trying to say. Most of the time, you have your own word that is close enough to what you are trying to say that we can figure you out. Here is a few:

"bess"= Bless you. And your timing is perfect. The other day I sneezed in my room and you were in yours and you came into my room, stood in the doorway and said "Bess, Mama"

"pees" and "tee-kaw"= please and thank you. You are becoming very well mannered, and are starting to use them with me sometimes even if I don't prompt you to do so.

"lock"= shock. You hate being shocked. It happens lots on the trampoline, so much so that you usually won't even let me get close to you on there. Oh yeah, and pushing the costco cart it happens to. If I shock you once in the cart you will be afraid to touch me the whole time and keep asking "Lock, Mama?" It never fails, just when I think there can be no more shocks and I assure you no and I touch you, I will shock you again and you will be mad that I shocked you, and lied. I don't even blame you, I am done trying to guess when I will or won't shock you. Does any readers have some explantion or idea of how to "unelectrify" myself so I won't shock her? I can't figure it out.

"beep beep"= excuse me. I love this. If you are pushing your doll in her stroller and I get in the way you give me a "beep beep" to move. I have no idea where it came from but I think it is hilarious.

"oleeo"=oil. This was cute. The other day I decided to let you "cook" with me like Grandma lets you cook and we made banana bread for Daddy. You were telling me all of the ingredients. Most of them were easy ones that I knew you would know. Milk, egg, etc. But I know I never taught you about oil and I think you learned that from your GG who had just been staying with us for the past week and you had done lots of cooking with. You were so proud to tell me about the "oleeo", as if you knew I would be totally surprised, and I was. It made you seem like such a big girl, that you knew something that I did not teach you. I think that was the first time I ever heard something come out of your mouth like that that I knew you had learned somewhere else. My big girl.

"ahhhhh!!! bug!!!!!= your reaction to anytime you see any sort of a bug, in our house or outside. You don't like them one bit, and love watching Daddy run around the first floor with a fly swatter killing them all. What you don't realize is that it is YOUR constant in and out of the door that lets them all in. I tell you to shut the screen door approximately 1200 times per day.

"ahhhh- min"=amen. This is so precious to me. When we pray before dinner you will bow your little head. Sometimes I peek at you and you are always peeking at your Daddy to see what he is doing, but your head is down and sometimes hands folded. And at bedtime, when I put you to bed we pray after book. You will always say your "amen" after I do. Daddy has been working lots lately and the past couple days you haven't seen much of him. Last night, when we thanked Jesus for everyone special and listed them by name, then said "amen" you said "more Dada" and you were telling me you wanted to pray for (or talk about) him more. So we thanked Jesus for Dady, his hat, his job, his truck, everything we could think of. You seemed satisfies with that and said your "amen" and it was off to bed.

"way"= away. When you want to put something in the garbage it's always "way?"

"nuggle"=snuggle. My all time favorite. Who could resist when you ask me to "nuggle". Throughout the day it doesn't happen very often, you will come up fom time to time to give me a hug and then you want to sit on my lap and "nuggle", or you ask to hold you brother and snuggle him. I usually let you do it, cause you ask so sweetly, but Mav is not yet a fan of your snuggles and it doesn't go well. But at bedtime, when I put you down, you always remind me AS SOON as the book is done by asking me "nuggle?" It is one of my favorite things you could ever say to me.

If there is ever something that you are trying to tell me and I don't understand, I love how you will come over and take me by the hand and pull me to whatever you are talking about and point. Honestly, I just love when you come up and hold my hand.

"bonk" If you ever hurt yourself, even if you are one the other side of the house, you have to come find me to say "bonk, >insert body part here<" and hold it out so I can give it a kiss. It makes me feel so special when you come find me just to get your "all better" kiss and then march out of the room as if nothing happened to continue what you were doing.

You are getting very good at understanding about what happened in a day or what is going to happen the next. For example, this month when GG came to visit, I told you the day before and you couldn't stop talking about it from the moment you woke up that day about GG coming to see you. The other day we went to your friend Tatum birthday party in the morning and had a block party that night. And at the end of the day, you and I were having a shower together and talking. Normally, i would take this time just to tell you what we did throughout the day and ask you if you remember this or that, but this time I asked you, "What did we do this morning?" and you replied "Happyyyyyyy Birthdayyyyy!" and then asked "And what about tonight, what did we do?" and your response..."Party!!!!!" You cracked me up with your enthusiasm, you loved telling me this story and I look forward to actually being able to hear your version of the days events instead of me just reiterating them all to you at the end of a day.

You are growing up in so many other ways. You seem to be outgrowing your baby board books that you and daddy have always read and loved and practically have memorized. It's on to the longer ones. You actually will sit through a whole Robert Munsch book and seem to like that, at naptime, to relax while Mommy reads you something a little bit longer. You used to not be able to sit still, you would try and flip the pages, etc. But you don't do that now, and when you do it just means your not into the book and then we go to bed. Also, this month Daddy was reading you Pokey Little Puppy one night and he stopped half way because it was too long and told you you guys would finish the next day. All though bathtime and afterwards you were saying "puppy" reminding us that was the book you needed to read. You are not forgetful at all!

One of the most exciting things happening for me this month is that you are almost totally potty trained. You have been doing so well at it, you are blowing any expectations that I had out of the water. Although there were a few accidents in the beginning, they are becoming less and less. WE actually have never had a pee one. I started putting you in panties to go out of the house about 3 weeks ago and we have never had an accident out and about running errands. Only when we are with friends and you get caught playing, you had a "number two" accident playing with your friends the other day and that has been it. Tonight, when I took you to the church nursery for two hours, I told the ladies you were wearing big girl panties and to try and take you pee. They said they tried after about an hour and you didn't go, they took you back to the nursery and you played for awhile then came and found them and told them "pee-pee" and they took you pee and you went on the potty. They were super impressed and of course I was the proud Mommy. True to your roots, you have always hated any part of you being wet or dirty, so it makes sense that you would be just as anxious as we are to have you out of diapers. The most accident we have had are you pooping on the floor at home, not sure what is up with that but they have stopped for now so hoping those are forever gone because those are VERY annoying to clean up. You will always go pee on your potty, and you love the "elmo" soft seat that GG got you that goes on Mommy's potty. Of course I love it too cause no more mess to clean, drain, wash. Poop then flush. What a fabulous concept. Last week you started taking your diapers off on your own after we had put you in your crib for the night and didn't have any accidents for the first few nights. I found, once I stopped putting a diaper on you for bedtime and put panties it's like you would forget and so you would pee. After a few nights of that, we are now putting you to bed with nothing on from the waist down and I am going into your room once or twice a night to wake you up and take you pee. I have to say you are the most adorable little girl ever at this time. Your hair is all tousled and your face is all scrunched up and you sort of sit on the potty hunched over, pants around the ankles, head in your hands usually. You look so so cute. You have a big pee and then I just put you back in your bed and you have been going right back down so hopefully that will work, and help you figure out the whole diaperless nighttimes. Cleaning up nighttime accidents isn't the end of the world right now anyways, you were peeing through your diaper every night anyways so I felt like I was always washing your sheets anyways. You are doing great with this new "formula" so we will see what happens, but throughout the daytime, you are a potty trained little girl, and it is a treat being down to only changing one set of diapers throughout the day.

You have decided this month that because you are Mav's big sister you are the boss of him. And you are quite bossy. "No, no, no" you love to tell him. Oh, and I I have to tell him no, you are right there behind me copying. Of course, you can boss Mav around but no one else is allowed to do anything with him, you are very protective of your brother. But I am seeing that even with your friends, you have become quite the little boss. If one of them is doing something you don't think they should, you love to tell them "no, no" in this mother hen sort of tone. I guess that's what happens when you are 2 and have been a big sister for almost half of your life. So you are dubbed the bossy big sister, and I have a feeling that that isn't going to change for a while.

With being a big sister and the "big girl" you have a new love for babies right now. Of course Maverick is your favorite. When he cries you want to "nuggle" him or try and nurse him, you will even take you shirt off and try and pick him up, or take it off and find a chair to sit in and say "lap, Mama" and slap your knees. But beside your brother, you are in love with any babies, and you especially love the new and tiny ones. Baby Grace is your favorite, and the other day while we were having a meeting for the brazil trip her Mommy left her with you and GG downstairs while we were upstairs and you had the time of your life. You wanted to give her a bottle, and you know to burp her and you love to just hold her or rock her in her carseat. Even with your dolls, it is incredible to watch you with them and how nurturing you can be. You tuck them in for "nigh nights" in their bed in your room every night and make sure that you put the blanket on last and gently and then you give the cradle a little rock. You love to put your babies in a stroller and take them for a walk around the house, and you think it is especially fun when we let you take a baby out for the day in the car and to wherever we are going. It is so fun for me to see you loving on your dolls, it reminds me of a quote I read once to "watch how she treats her dolls, she learned it from you" or soemthing like that. To see you so gentle with babies and dolls makes me proud to know you learned it from a Mommy who pours everything I have into loving you and raising you up right.

Tula, I love you so much. This month I will embark on a great big journey to Brazil and leave you for the first time for a whopping nine days. I don't know how I am going to do it, but I know you will be fine. GG and Papa are going to come and stay with you and Mav and Daddy will be home every night to read to you and tuck you in. I know you will wonder where I am and you and your brother will be my heartbeat while I am away. I was going to say you will be in my heart but that doesn't even make sense anymore. Now that I am a Mommy you are my heart! I will miss you so much, but I look forward to seeing the world through the eyes of other children than my own, to see what is truly important for me to teach you, and see what is truly important for me to learn and know in this one life. I will come home on the very day of your second birthday. I will come home to a two year old...ahhh!! So I am going to soak up these last couple weeks we have together while you are still my "sort of" baby and (try to) enjoy every second I have with you. I look forward to coming home and celebrating your big day with you, baby girl.

Tula, I have said it before and I will say it again. You are sweet perfection to me. You teach me to slow down more and live life fuller and better every day. I feel honored that God chose me to be your Mommy. Happy 23 months, to Mama's great big girl!